Memento Mori – Remember you must die

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Memento Mori

A simple sentence that originated in ancient Rome where it was a servant’s duty to stand behind a victorious general and whisper these two words – Memento Mori.  Remember that you must die.
A reminder that no matter what you conquer, ultimately you will be defeated by death. It was nothing but a challenge to one’s hubris to stay in check.

I do not think that we like to talk a lot about death. For us living in modernity, it is depressing. For the generation who talks of good vibes only and positive thoughts, death is the antithesis of what we all stand for. But for practising Stoics, death is an ultimate motivator for living a meaningful and virtuous life.

“It is not death that a man should fear, but rather he should fear never beginning to live.”

Marcus Aurelius

Negative Visualization

In one of my previous posts, I have briefly mentioned negative visualization. Negative visualization is a process to actively engage in unfortunate events that might happen. It is an exercise to experience voluntary discomfort thus strengthening the mental resolve to endeavour through if these events seem to occur.

Death is the ultimate form of negative visualization. Not anyone else’s, but my own. Do I want to die? Hell no. I want to live long. There are a lot of things that I want to do that I am eager to lay my hands on. But having visualized my death, I do not live my life in a fear that life will end. I know life will end. I know I will die. That is an absolute certainty. Memento Mori.

What is death? A scary mask. Take it off – see, it doesn’t bite. Eventually, body and soul will have to separate, just as they existed separately before we were born. So why be upset if it happens now? If it isn’t now, it’s later.

Epictetus

When I die, I know my friends will miss me. I know my family will miss me. They will break down and may take forever to grieve. When I die, all those friends who call me their best friends will lose me. All I will be is a memory in people’s minds and one day when they all pass away as well, I will be nothing. My existence will be wiped away completely.

Last Day

This finality is scary but that makes it so much more beautiful as well. I love my friends. I love my mother. I love my life. I am not afraid of living. I am not afraid of loving. I am not afraid of losing my loved ones. I am not afraid that the next person that comes into my life will break my heart too, I am not afraid of losing my camera or losing my car or any other material things. I accept all losses will happen. I accept any adversity.

I cannot escape death, but at least I can escape the fear of it.

Epictetus

This is why I live every day as the last day. I am kind because I choose to be, so no one will remember me for my cruelty when I were to die. I am happy for the things that make me happy and sad for things that make me sad as I accept those things are equally possible and if I were to die, no one will call me emotionally numb. When I like someone, I tell them. When someone does something good, I tell them now. If I fight with someone, I tell them now and never hold a grudge to die with a regret.

The fear is gone. I have embraced a lot of things that I was afraid of. Memento Mori.

Vita Incerta, Mors Certissima

Life is uncertain, death is the only certainty.
I fell in love with this quote when I read it first and it didn’t take me 2 weeks to get it tattooed on me. My first ever tattoo at the age of 22. 11 years later, I pondered about this as I lay on the hospital bed a few months ago.

The sickness was sudden, with fever reaching Saharan Summer temperatures. Despite the pandemic, I was not a victim of Covid but just a regular old ‘boring’ virus; bad enough to get a hospital admission, yet good enough to walk into the hospital myself and get a bed.

Those 7 days in the confines of a simple room with the most boring paint job let me reconnect with myself a lot. The man that went into that room and the one who came out were completely different.

Perspective is what I gained.

Think of yourself as dead. You have lived your life. Now, take what’s left and live it properly.

Marcus Aurelius

I am not invincible, I will fail, I will fall. Yet I will make every effort to get better.

I need help. I can do a lot of things, but somethings are out of my capability. Getting help from people who care about you and love you is completely okay.

I have time, but that is not infinite. I am living on borrowed time. The things that I need to do, that are important to me, I cannot let it wait forever.

Go love again. One life is too precious and too important to live in the shadow of a place where you are not loved.

Live for now.

Memento Mori

Meditating over mortality is only depressing if you do it for the wrong reasons. Memento mori helps me understand and prioritize what I want in my life. As much as anyone will tell me to chill, I cannot as my life will not wait for me to chill. Memento mori is a tool to understand that urgency, the reminder that I am mortal. My time is a gift and I choose not to spend it on trivialities. My life is a privilege and I thank everything that makes it as beautiful as it is.

Let us prepare our minds as if we’d come to the very end of life. Let us postpone nothing. Let us balance life’s books each day. The one who puts the finishing touches on their life each day is never short of time.

Seneca

I am still striving to write as much as I used to. Around 40% of this essay were written sometime over the last year. Too many things in the head still that need to be penned down. This post is a humble confession of a practicing stoic talking how memento mori improved my life and perspective over the last few years.

The above image is clicked in Pahalgam on a sunny day. Please follow my Instagram for more travel updates. Here is a link to another post about stoic reflections

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